What If Dr. Seuss Wrote For Star Trek: The Next Generation?
 
Picard:   Sigma Indri, that's the star,
          So, Data, please, how far? How far?
Data:     Our ship can get there very fast
          But still the trip will last and last
          We'll have two days til we arrive
          But can the Indrans there survive?
Picard:   LaForge, please give us factor nine.
LaForge:  But, sir, the engines are offline!
Picard:   Offline! But why? I want to go!
          Please make it so, please make it so!
Riker:    But sir, if Geordi says we can't,
          We can't, we mustn't, and we shan't,
          The danger here is far too great!
Picard:   But surely we must not be late!
Troi:     I'm sensing anger and great ire.
Computer: Alert! Alert! The ship's on fire!
Picard:   The ship's on fire? How could this be?
          Who lit the fire?
Riker:                     Not me.
Worf:                             Not me.
Picard:   Computer, how long til we die?
Computer: Eight minutes left to say goodbye.
Data:     May I suggest a course to take?
          We could, I think, quite safely make
          Extinguishers from tractor beams
          And stop the fire, or so it seems...
LaForge:  Hurray! Hurray! You've saved the day!
          Again I say, Hurray! Hurray!
Picard:   Mr. Data, thank you much.
          You've saved our lives, our ship, and such.
Troi:     We still must save the Indran planet --
Data:     Which (by the way) is made of granite...
Picard:   Enough, you android. Please desist.
          We understand -- we get your gist.
          But can we get our ship to go?
          Please, make it so, PLEASE make it so.
LaForge:  There's sabotage among the wires
          And that's what started all the fires.
Riker:    We have a saboteur? Oh, no!
          We need to go! We need to go!
Troi:     We must seek out the traitor spy
          And lock him up and ask him why?
Worf:     Ask him why? How sentimental.
          I say give him problems dental.
Troi:     Are any Romulan ships around?
          Have scanners said that they've been found?
          Or is it Borg or some new threat
          We haven't even heard of yet?
          I sense no malice in this crew.
          Now what are we supposed to do?
Crusher:  Captain, please, the Indrans need us.
          They cry out, "Help us, clothe us, feed us!"
          I can't just sit and let them die!
          A doctor MUST attempt -- MUST try!
Picard:   Doctor, please, we'll get there soon.
Crusher:  They may be dead by Tuesday noon.

* COMMERCIAL BREAK, COMMERCIAL BREAK
HOW LONG WILL THESE DUMB ADS TAKE? *

Worf:     The saboteur is in the brig.
          He's very strong and very big.
          I had my phaser set on stun --
          A zzzip! A zzzap! Another one!
          He would not budge, he would not fall,
          He would not stun, no, not at all!
          He changed into a stranger form
          All soft and purple, round and warm.
Picard:   Did you see this, Mr. Worf?
          Did you see this creature morph?
Worf:     I did and then I beat him fairly.
          Hit him on the jaw -- quite squarely.
Riker:    My commendations, Klingon friend!
          Our troubles now are at an end!
Crusher:  Now let's get our ship to fly
          And orbit yonder Indran sky!
Picard:   LaForge, please tell me we can go...?
LaForge:  Yes, sir, we can.
Picard:                     Then make it so!

           by Pete Dussin (I believe)
 
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